9 Things to Remember When You Feel Failed in Parenting

As I have already said, parenting is a whole new chapter in an individual’s life, full of challenges and takes a good amount of effort and patience. Parenting doesn’t mean you would succeed, excel and manage everything. Sometimes you may fail, feel helpless, feel neglecting things, going overboard with your love, restrictions, freedom for your kids, as a result of which you might feel like a failed parent. Kids doing drugs, attempting suicide, indulging in wrong actions, being reckless with their behavior are very disturbing, hopeless, and worrisome matters but being parents, you can’t blame yourself completely. That’s true, the responsibility is of the parents when it comes to kids, but you cannot watch your kids 24×7 and can’t keep eye on their every move. Instead of feeling failed, hopeless, and disappointed with yourself, you should find ways to deal with it sensibly. You need to support your kids, help them rectify their mistakes and most importantly understand their point of view. Let’s have a brief look on the things that you need to remember when you feel failed in parenting:

1. You can’t do it all

Being parents and managing your kids’ mood, thoughts, emotions, needs, and their actions is not easy. If you are managing it well already, hats off! And even if you’re finding it difficult and still figuring how to it’s absolutely fine. You cannot do it all. There would be few things that you may not fulfil, you cannot make snacks and prepare all the party eatery for you kids’ classmates. You may not find time to help them with their homework on some days. Instead of feeling failed or disappointed, it’s better to at least find some time to spend some time with your kids, or try to do whatever you can for your kids.

2. Look at the bigger picture

No matter how well you juggle your work life, parenting life and your personal life, there are higher possibilities the synchronization between you and your kids might get disturbed. There would be some times when your kids might go out of control or land up in mess to disappoint you. But instead of losing your cool, hope, and feeling as a failure, you need to look at the bigger picture which is one of the essential things to remember when you feel failed in parenting. If your kid was involved in rash driving and ended up in an accident, the good thing is your kid is safe, and learnt the lessons of life that you couldn’t have ever made them learn. 

3. Hold on to hope in every situation

Without hope a person feels helpless and can easily get demotivated, discouraged, stressed, anxiety and even lose self-confidence. Parents when consistently fail to connect with their kids and teach them the lessons of life feel disappointed in themselves and failed as well. Thus, it is important to find hope in every situation especially, bad or negative ones. Changing your perspective and finding a positive factor in every negative situation in which your kids are involved in is an amazing way to not feel like a failed parent.

4. Know that every child is different

Parenting is not easy. We all know that. Why? Well, the answer is there is no mantra to a better parenting because every kid is different and special in their own way. Every parent has to learn their own style of managing and understanding their kids. So, rather than feeling failed in parenting, the thing you need to remember is that your kid is different and you need to handle them differently. Find your own way.

5. Believe that you’re enough

No matter how out of control your child becomes, at the end of the day your child just wants you. Kids want their parents to understand them, to give them support not anybody else because there’s a bond between every parent and their child which is unique and special. And that bond is way beyond any expensive vacations or any latest video games. Kids always want their parents to love them, understand them, and give them support which boost their spirits. Thus, always remember you as a parent are enough of your kids and all you need to do is connect with them.

6. Disappointments are a part of life

Disappointments, failure, flaws are a part of life. And when you’re the parents, it doesn’t mean you are going to be perfect or would be a part of flawless parenting. Disappointments and failure as parents, are absolutely normal and you need to accept it. Instead of feeling disappointed, accept the fact that you are learning and you can do it better as parents for your kids.

7. Sometimes you need to give space to your kids

Checking on your kids, keeping an eye on their actions, whereabouts, and plans is fine when you’re their parents, but over-interference can be harmful as well. You need to trust your kids and connect with them on that trust basis to help them learn better. If your kids are being arrogant, showing bad temperament, and going overboard with actions to irritate you, then you need to give some space to your kids which is one thing you need to remember when you feel failed in parenting. This is not about feeling failed or disappointed, it’s a phase your kids are going through, they are growing and learning about emotions, life, crisis and all stuff.

8. Always remember the good memories

Before landing on any conclusions, or getting disappointed in your children, and feeling failed as hell as a parent, always remember the good remember the good sweet memories. Because as parents, you know your kids better, who they are, what can they do, what are their weaknesses, what are their extreme thoughts? So, your trust based on all great memories for your children can always help you to help your kids to get them out of any kind of mess and life crisis. 

9. You’re not alone as a failed parent

There are billions of parents in this world and most of them are dealing with parenting challenges. And you’re not alone as a parent who is feeling as a failure, there are many others like you. Even you can ask for help to other parents and know that feeling failed in parenting is normal and this is the thing you need to remember.